Freerails Home 
Home Search search Menu menu Not logged in - Login | Register

Freerails IS ACCEPTING new Members ... To join Freerails ... See how to Register as a Member in the 'Joining Freerails' Forum

NOA
 Moderated by: .
New Topic Reply Printer Friendly
 Rate Topic 
AuthorPost
 Posted: Mon May 23rd, 2016 08:18 am
  PMQuoteReply
1st Post
Manfred D
Registered


Joined: Mon Feb 22nd, 2016
Location: Utah USA
Posts: 63
Status: 
Offline
NOAH TODAY


In the year 2016, the Lord came unto Noah,
Who was now living in Australia and said:
"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over
-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."
"Build another ark and save 2 of every living thing
Along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
"You have 6 months to build the ark before I will start the
Unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
Weeping in his yard - but no ark.
"Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!
Where is the ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."
"I needed a building permit."

"I've been arguing with the boat inspector about the need for a sprinkler system."

"My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood by-laws by building the ark in my
Back yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the local Planning Committee
For a decision."

"Then the local Council and the electric company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power
Lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea
Would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it."

"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the
Greater Spotted Barn Owl." "I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed
The wood to save the owls - but no go!"

"When I started gathering the animals the RSPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild
Animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive and it was cruel and
Inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.."

"Then the Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn't build the ark
Until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood."

"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how
Many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew."

"The Immigration Dept. Is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work."

"The trade unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have
To hire only Union workers with ark-building experience."

"To make matters worse, the IRD seized all my assets, claiming
I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."

"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this ark."

"Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky."

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going
To destroy the world?" "No," said the Lord. "The Government beat me to it."

Attachment: (Downloaded times)



____________________
I like to die in my sleep like my grandfather and not screaming in horror like his passengers!
Back To Top

 Posted: Mon May 23rd, 2016 05:47 pm
  PMQuoteReply
2nd Post
W C Greene
Moderator


Joined: Fri May 4th, 2007
Location: Royse City, Texas USA
Posts: 8218
Status: 
Offline
With apology to Robert Dylan:

God said to Abraham, "kill me a son"
Abe said "man, you must be putting me on"
God said "NO"
Abe said "Woah!"
God said "Next time you see me comin', you better run"
Abe said "Where do you want this killin' done?"
God said "Out on Highway 61!"

As an aside...(this is true!)...years ago, one of the neighbors kept calling the "code inspector" about me and my Mogollon layout in the back yard. I had no violations but the inspector had to come by anyway, he had been called. We became friends and for a long time, he dropped by occasionally just to see how the layout was coming along. I believe that now, he is inspecting for God...we will meet again, I am sure.


Woodie



____________________
It doesn't matter if you win or lose, its' how you rig the game.
Back To Top

 Posted: Mon May 23rd, 2016 06:29 pm
  PMQuoteReply
3rd Post
mwiz64
Registered


Joined: Mon Mar 26th, 2012
Location: Fenton, Michigan USA
Posts: 1334
Status: 
Offline
Nice story, Woodie!



____________________
Mike
Back To Top

 Posted: Mon May 23rd, 2016 06:58 pm
  PMQuoteReply
4th Post
Herb Kephart
Moderator


Joined: Thu Jul 19th, 2007
Location: Glen Mills, Pennsylvania USA
Posts: 6017
Status: 
Offline
OH MY!

Is this a religious post?

Should I delete it?

Can I stop laughing my butt off?

What to do, What to do---Comments?

Perplexed in PA



____________________
Fix it again, Mr Gates--it still works!"
Back To Top

 Posted: Mon May 23rd, 2016 07:09 pm
  PMQuoteReply
5th Post
Manfred D
Registered


Joined: Mon Feb 22nd, 2016
Location: Utah USA
Posts: 63
Status: 
Offline
Living in Utah posting things like that I am all but religious !seeing the complications,rules laws reflecting in my posting its a confusing society !



____________________
I like to die in my sleep like my grandfather and not screaming in horror like his passengers!
Back To Top

 Posted: Mon May 23rd, 2016 07:31 pm
  PMQuoteReply
6th Post
W C Greene
Moderator


Joined: Fri May 4th, 2007
Location: Royse City, Texas USA
Posts: 8218
Status: 
Offline
Herbert...delete your butt!! It's all cool...

WCG



____________________
It doesn't matter if you win or lose, its' how you rig the game.
Back To Top


 Current time is 11:47 am

Top



UltraBB 1.172 Copyright © 2007-2016 Data 1 Systems